This is what I am feeling. Something yellow. Some peachy romantic lace. Nude flats. A little black. Kitty love and shorts. Yeah. And I have to learn to ride a bicycle ASAP.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Nothing
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| www.favim.com |
in my darkest moments
i know you have deserted me
you have made up your mind to forget me
you refuse to allow me in
i cannot find my way in
and my pain is strong and raw
i want to be inside your flesh
running in your veins your blood
be the air that passes through your nostrils
the morsels on your taste buds
that your saliva engulfs
and draw into your depths
how could you give our love away
and bind yourself to someone else
you called it magic
what we had
and that is what it has become
in the past tense
i am the dust
you swept under your door mat
bitter is my heart
to know this the harsh truth
i never meant much to you
not half the things you meant to me
i am nothing
less than dust
no trace of me on you
nothing
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Accidents of time.
Will anything fill up this emptiness?
The words unspoken.
I am trying to be strong.
But I don't know how to be anymore.
Should I grieve and mourn?
My heart is heavy and my tears ready.
Collateral damage of an inconsequential life.
It just wasn't your time or mine.
And here we go, smiling and eating and cooking
Like nothing ever happened.
But life has come to a standstill.
Something has died in me.
Your being became a momentary blip.
A faint flicker on the canvas of my space.
A part of my soul I gave up on.
In a universe that doesn't care.
And has made me equally uncaring.
Forgive me.
The crimes of my time.
The blood and the tears.
The folly of my age.
Accidents of recklessness.
My inability to be who I wanted to be.
And yet this is who I am.
Set me free.
From regret.
Heartache.
Fear and nightmares.
Grant me peace and another chance.
The words unspoken.
I am trying to be strong.
But I don't know how to be anymore.
Should I grieve and mourn?
My heart is heavy and my tears ready.
Collateral damage of an inconsequential life.
It just wasn't your time or mine.
And here we go, smiling and eating and cooking
Like nothing ever happened.
But life has come to a standstill.
Something has died in me.
Your being became a momentary blip.
A faint flicker on the canvas of my space.
A part of my soul I gave up on.
In a universe that doesn't care.
And has made me equally uncaring.
Forgive me.
The crimes of my time.
The blood and the tears.
The folly of my age.
Accidents of recklessness.
My inability to be who I wanted to be.
And yet this is who I am.
Set me free.
From regret.
Heartache.
Fear and nightmares.
Grant me peace and another chance.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Apo and me
This one is for the one man who has always been there for me.
Apo!Apo!
Lift me up again on to your shoulder
And show me the twinkling lights of Kohima.
Seat me under the pear tree and bounce me on your knees.
Sing me the song about aeroplanes and trains you saw in Dimapur.
Get me an ice cream from there too and not just papayas and litchees.
Tell me again about the big buses that ply in Kohima.
When are we moving to town to our new house?
Did you hear the song I sang for your from the balcony last week?
Why did you come home looking like a stranger and make me cry?
I love the black hat that you brought home.
And the big umbrella I can sit under and play.
Sing me some hindi songs again please?
Can I try my hand at your typewriter?
Apa! Apa!
Let's go for a ride on your noisy bike please.
I swear I won't fall off, I will cling to you like how you showed me to.
Please take me to the river again and teach me how to catch a fish.
Let's go check the bamboo grooves and catch some frogs.
I chewed so much gum today, we can glue many cicadas for sure.
Show me how to lift the latch and launch a catapult.
Now I know how to dress a chicken and cut wood the right way.
Help me lift this basket to my head. Oh! So that's how it is done?
Let's go buy a radio and some jeans.
And can I have some singaras too?
Apa! Apa!
Take me to town to eat chow and momos.
And say hello to the azaleas at the War Cemetery.
Or maybe have chai and puri at your office canteen.
Those aunties might give me a piece of cake again.
You have so many friends at work?
We have to fill up my forms and please sign this for me?
Thank you and now please let me go to the class picnic?
Where should I go to attend college?
Followed your footsteps and this is awesome.
My holidays begin soon and I need you to pick me up from hostel.
I should have done better and made you prouder.
No. I want to explore my options.
It's okay. I'll be gone for just three years....five years.
I am a big girl now. I know what is right for me.
Why can't I be with this boy? I'll be just fine.
Leave me alone. Why don't you understand?
Apa! Apa!
You were right. I should have listened to you.
Now I will. You know better.
I just want to be your little girl.
Don't send me away yet! I don't want to go.
Apa! I'm unhappy. He doesn't want me and I can't do this anymore.
Can I come back home please?
Thank you Apa. You always have my back.
I am sorry for embarrassing you.
I will try harder.
Apa! Apa!
Please stay awhile. Let's watch a movie.
Discuss the books you taught me to love.
I know you are bored and tired these days.
Can I do something to help? Come stay with me.
Let's go on a trip.
It's my turn to show you something fun to do.
Let's fry dal and chicken and some pumpkin.
Like good ole times.
While Mom watch us amused.
Daddy and his little girl.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Bye-bye Blackbird
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| Image @Internet |
Bye-bye Blackbird!
Tonight I fly, into the unknown.
The night is thick and laden with emotions.
Lights blinking in the distance.
Misty eyed, I grope in the haze.
Guide me home twinkling stars.
The moon hangs like an old man.
She's tired.
Like me.
Ripe litchi, sweet on my lips.
My throat is parched.
I need my sleep.
Tomorrow I will hum a new tune.
Bye-bye Blackbird.
Another crow will take your place.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Don't.
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| Source: Internet |
No.
Don't go making me weak at the knees.
Your eyes say things I can't let my ears hear yet.
Your wild kisses make me fly.
I am in danger of falling.
Falling deep.
No.
I am not afraid of loving.
I am afraid to be blue.
Alone after knowing your warmth.
Call me a butterfly.
Yes.
You make me dizzy and sway.
Don't make me change my mind.
I know how to make you melt.
Like you know how to make me shiver.
Yes.
Let's keep it intense. You and me.
Warm and sweet.
But.
Don't make me fall.
Let's grow with love.
With friendship and golden companionship.
In the end, only kindness matters.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Black
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| Image Source: Internet |
I know there is a hole in your heart
That feels like you are being swallowed
Your world is sinking and you are drowning
Grief and pain so sharp
You sweat droplets of blood
Crushed, bruised and torn
The tears in your eyes blurs your vision
Your head echoes with thoughts
I know you are afraid and shaky
There seems no end to this night
Why is this happening you ask
I'm sorry I have no answers
I cannot save you anymore
Let me sing you to sleep and dream
My sweet, we shall find peace soon
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