Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Blue October

I am beginning to wonder if October isn't really the best of time for me ever.
So much has happened since it was last an october and now I am in November.
Life has totally taken a U turn for me and though I still don't quite understand how it can be for anyone's good, the things that have happened to me so far, atleast I am whole in person, body and spirit so no complaints there. I don't want to ever be a whiner and here I am, trying to count my blessings.

October in my childhood was the month we get autumn breaks and in college to.
During my student life in New Delhi, October was the month everyone went back home to their families but I rarely did that. But I had bible camps and retreats and even short term courses and projects to keep me busy. Learnt a lot I have to admit not that I am any kind of expert in anything.
Now October was the month my life drastically changed last year and even this year but I am glad I got to experience all that I have. It has only made me realise what kind of a person I am. Made my mistakes, learnt from them and plan to never repeat them again. This October was another opportunity to reaffirm myself about His grace and blessings. And a chance to redeem myself in my own eyes atleast.

I have regained my confidence to just be myself and not give a shit about what others say or think of me.
I know now that I cannot make anyone happy if I am not happy and I have made my peace. Sounds selfish but a little late I realise that I have to live for myself and I intend to fully do that.

So now, I might suffer a little October blues once in a while but I ain't letting anyone ruin my party or drive roughshod over me and my feelings. I read somewhere that you can't get hurt unless you decide to feel hurt. So here's the new me saying cheers to "Feeling every emotion but not letting anything hurt" because it is all in the head. Yours and mine. And my happiness depends only on me and nothing or nobody else. Cheers! To happily everafter!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment